Still being Mr Nice Guy ?

You're not really being nice, you're trying to win other people's approval by doing anything they ask of you.
Think about it ... could you really respect somebody who would do anything for you, even risking his/her own principles, self-respect or even health?

Being 'nice' is being phony and dishonest with yourself. People will sense your lack of self-respect and automatically reflect that back to you.

If you're such a nice guy, why not be nice with yourself first?
I think it's really nice to expect other people to treat you with respect.
Being assertive doesn't mean being an asshole.


A repulsive 'nice guy' is basically running around town and crying, "Please, PLEASE, will somebody just LOVE me?"

Begging for Love.

There is nothing inherently wrong in wanting to be loved, the main problem is that you fear NOT being loved. The wounded inner child is running the show.

Obviously, women want a MAN, not a child.

Now, I enjoy the energy of "approval" from others, and I don't mind bathing in it, and enjoying it fully, for what it's worth. There is no need to condemn approval, or the desire for it. Obviously approval is going to feel much better than 'rejection'.

It is the ADDICTION to approval that is the problem.

If you look to psychology, the main advice you'll hear is, "You have low self-esteem! You have to love yourself!"

And that's cute, but first we need to make the distinction between your Lower Self (ego) and Higher Self ("Spirit"). Otherwise, if I tell you to go and 'love yourself', you might just end up becoming a narcissist. The human ego is a narcissist.

So, instead of trying to solve this using the mind, using psychology, let's look at this from a higher spiritual perspective.

Those of you who run around town craving and begging for the approval of others, making all of us want to vomit, isn't it ironic that the very 'wantingness' itself is the actual thing that blocks approval and love from entering your lives?

Life is funny that way.

Love is not a 'thing'.

You can't 'have' it, you can't grasp it, you can't hold it... you can only LIVE IT. The decision to be loving, understanding, forgiving, and compassionate toward all of Creation (including yourself) will do you a world of good, you see.

Currently, your love comes with strings attached. You do 'nice things' for people, but you have a hidden agenda. You want them to love you in return.

The other day, I picked some flowers and gave them to all the girls who work at the grocery store, down the street from my house. I gave those flowers because I enjoy living a loving lifestyle. If she doesn't want, or appreciate the flowers and the love, I'm not "offended", I don't need to get angry and pretend that my soul has more value than hers does, I can't help but to feel Compassion for her struggle.

At the very core of the addiction to exteral love, validation, and approval is you feel that you have been rejected by God.

(For those who don't like the "God-word", you can always use Consciousness, or Universe, or Creator, or Divinity, or Krishna, Allah - they are all one and the same.)

Since you fear that you do not have God's love, you run around town desperately trying to get humans to love you instead.

What if I were to tell you that it's actually the reverse, it is the human ego that "rejects God's love"? (The depictions of an angry, vengful, jealous God are false. Those old depictions of God are actually just ego projections, you see.)

Human suffering does not come from God, it's from human ego. And many people are unconsciously blaming God for what their ego has done to them.

In the Chakra program, the "Heart Chakra" (electromagnetic frequency of consciousness) teaches the frame, "I Am Truly Loved".

Do you know how many people have emailed me and said, "I don't get it. Truly loved? By whom? By what? I just don't understand!"

Think about how sad that is. You compulsive 'nice guys' are essentially holding the frame "I Am NOT Truly Loved", and then bothering the poor women in your city with 'gifts' and compliments and ass-kissing behaviors to make up for it.

The only solution is to open the Heart. Because if your Heart Chakra is closed, you'll think that Love is "out there" and start begging for women to "give it to me!"

Thanks for your question, and God Bless.

Stephane