Relationships of New Order II

Relationships are some of the most complex structures there are. Again I want to give you some guidelines and sticking points that will be of great hindrance if you do not come to terms with them.

1. The first step is to love yourself and be selfish
It basically means being true to oneself, authentic and accepting yourself totally. So if you feel anything about you do not repress it.
To be selfish is the only way to be unselfish. To be selfish is a) to be self-centered and b) to seek one's own blissfulness. It looks paradoxical, but in truth you serve yourself so well that you are so happy that with whatsoever you do and to whom you talk to you will share your bliss. And when you seek your own happiness you try to make other people happy as well, because that can only make you happy again, because all is interconnected and your day is filled with interactions with all kinds of people.

2.Aloneness and relating are complementary opposites not contradictory
That means that after each phase of spending much time and making connections with people, one feels the desire to relax and be with him or herself. That's nature's way and should be accepted. Don't go "Oh baby what's up, don't you love me anymore?" if your lover wants to spend some time alone. It does not mean that love has ceased.

3.Relationships and marriage are bound to fail, hence relate
This concept seems strange at first, because it is unusual, but just look around and you will only find neutrality and some kind of sadness in all husbands and wifes. Do you think it is natural that by living together for some years all the passion and kindness dissappears that all romance HAS to go? The problem is that marriage makes love a security, a functionality, an end. Now you will know what happens, you will take the other for granted, you do not fight anymore and think you know him or her. That is dangerous, because you become blind and the other will not be am mirror to you anymore and that is the GREATEST loss. That again turns the person into a thing because only things do not change, a person is someone else every day.
Do not make a commitment out of your love. How can you know that love will be there tomorrow? You can't. Anything else is a false promise. Love can only blossom out of freedom anything else is lust (bondage). Love has it's own commitment and it is silent and then there is no need to make it a contract. Chances are that you lose your love, but then it is a blessing that you seperate and there is no need to cling to it.
Discover each other new everyday and try to learn new ways of being with each other.

4. Beware of your needs
This will make you go down to the first kind of love which is very unstable. These things will dissapear. So, rejoice and enjoy them as long as you can, but remember that this is not your true love to this person. It will turn the relationship into a love-hate relationship. You will be dependant on the other for making you happy, that is a bondage and destroys freedom, you will secretly hate him/her for that.

L.o.v.e.

What four magical letters they are. Everybody wants it, everybody thinks he knows what it is, but nobody really attains it or understands what it is.
Relationships break apart again and again, and everybody blames the other one. Half couples are divorced and most of the other half just lives side by side in neutrality.
Maybe there is something wrong with the so-called love? It is.

There are three kinds of love:
1. Lust 95%
2. Love 4%
3. Lovingness 0.4%

The percentage behind the words is a scientific researched number of how many people live in this kind of consciousness. So only 4% are really ready for relationships. So chances are that you are in lust cionsciousness, even I am still I think ;)

I will just clarify the first two, the thrird still seems way off.
The ordinary love is attachment, for man and women mainly lust because of the attraction mechanism, and some personal traits that are based on similarities and differences. Note that men are not the only scapegoats, the attraction mechanism of women is similar.
When two people come together their inside realities clash and the outer things become meaningless. Then what about a hot body, about a funny attitude? It does not longer attract because it is already there. The superficial falls away and then people are left alone with the others madness, then they both feel cheated and the misery begins.
You are using the other as a means, it is exploitation and possession.

Real love is manlike, you're detached from physicality, love becomes a sharing of your joys, is non-manipulative , freedom will be there and appreciation, more and more compassion and acceptance. You're living from the heart which gives lasting fullfilment.
You must be at least some kind of a meditator to come here and let synchronicity play it's part as a screening process. Jealousy and other miserable shit should be transcended here, because how can you love someone if you can't let them go? If your beloved adores someone else let him or her go, you are loving and thus ONLY want HAPPINESS for that person. This love does not possess.
Here you can see that it has no logic to it, it is moving from the linear to the non-linear and cannot be measured. You transcended NEEDS and by doing that there are no real "reasons" left for your love. The moment your love is a need you are making a fear based decision because you think you are not accepted by existence. Real love is a state of mind and you choose your lover from heart- centered values which gives lasting fulfillment.

Content: Osho, The Koan of Relationships

Transcending the Addiction to Porn

It's quite easy actually. First of all I want to mention that most of you probably think that it's not really a big deal to jerk off to porn, but it is. Ok, obviously you're wasting your life force on some slut on the internet that you do not respect, know and secretly hate. You want to JUST enjoy the lust without any responsibility of marrying her, loving her and dealing with the person she is. When jerking off to porn you will consciously or not upload a lot of guilt and shame unto you and this will add to your approach anxiety. You are giving away your power into someone elses hands if you are being stirred from lust and a feeling of inadequacy will also be there.

So just do this:
1. Do never ever try to repress (feel guilty about and forcing the emotion away) the feeling of lust. That's what priests are doing and they're getting hornier and hornier. Your body is part of you and his true feelings should be accepted.
2. Put on some of the hottest porn, enjoy it fully and jerk it off consciously. Watch your body while doing it with awareness and try to notice what changes afterwards.
3. do another seession about an our, but do not touch youself just look and enjoy. And now let feelings INTENSIFY and while watching you body just NOTICE that you are not your body that it is just your body that has these feelings and very soon you see that you as a watcher are not longer possessed by this force of lust. You will feel it but it will lose it's power and BANG you transcended it.

PS: Notice that whenever picking up a chick you just want to bang, you feel miserable afterwards, it's not so much different from jerking off ;) (moreover you're left with the "baggage" you did not want to invite in the first place)
That's what people are doing they are jerking off with women and then they wonder where the hell the love is supposed to be.

Chakra One: Earth

At first the assigned symbols seemed a bit strange, but I think symbols are way better to describe something. There is much more information in it and in various forms. The East is more concerned with significance than facts.
So the first one hast to do with Survival. You can say that we share this one with animals. I mean we are still animals, but there seems to be something more to us, like a free will or capacity to abstract things. Animals seem to just have to follow their instinct they will not be able to choose love over mating instincts. When they have sex you can see that they are very sad, because they are forced to do it. So key elements here is earning a living and fullfill your basic needs like food, sleep, air, rest, warmth, security etc. Many westerners are just trying to survive better and better which then would belong to Chakra three. Taking care of your body and grounding are the other elements to be taken care of at this level. You have to see that even today half of the world is still even struggling with this level of conscioussness just look at the disasters in africa china and anywhere else. Most westerner have handled this though and can move on into deeper aspects of life.
Here are some examples of increasing the ability to deal with chakra one:
Grounding, bodycare, survival etc:
- sports
- work in a flow like state
- sleep enough (just enough)
- discipline yourself to be able to work at a kind of job that makes you able to keep in touch with your ground
- increase production capability, to spent less and less time on this one and to be able to got to chakra three (if you are working at a job which is not aligned with oyur true will)
- live with integrity-> more power in thoughts an action
- balance physical, mental, social activities

Traps : The physical world is not the goal but a tool, e.g. addiction to materialism, the acquisition of more and more does not lead anywhere nor makes you happy
-> it's the undue attachment to security that becomes a trap not the satisfation of the need.

Anodea Judith, Wheels of Life: A User's Guide to the Chakra System

Intro to Chakras

So right now I want to make a brief introduction to the chakra system. I more and more believe that it could be a real practical help for seeing life from a higher perspective. It illustrates the various stages of consciousness a human being is meant to go through in order to reach enlightenment. You can see it as lessons (or natural laws) which have to be learned/discovered in order to find love or ultimate truth. I don't fully understand it yet, but I can verify some lessons and their function in the world already from experience.

There are 7 of them:
1. Root Chakra
2. Sacral Chakra
3. Solar Plexus Chakra
4. Heart Chakra
5.Throat Chakra
6.Third-eye Chakra
7.Crown Chakra

I will stick to the first four, because the rest still seems like some touchy business and seems just too far away to catch.
Each Chakra has an giving and receiving aspect as well as a dimension of being able to cope with the challenges of the chakra vs over indulging in it an thus being trapped in this kind of conscioussness.
You should give it an honest try and see how the chakras can make very positive changes to your life, the only real changes there are I might say.