Relationships of New Order II

Relationships are some of the most complex structures there are. Again I want to give you some guidelines and sticking points that will be of great hindrance if you do not come to terms with them.

1. The first step is to love yourself and be selfish
It basically means being true to oneself, authentic and accepting yourself totally. So if you feel anything about you do not repress it.
To be selfish is the only way to be unselfish. To be selfish is a) to be self-centered and b) to seek one's own blissfulness. It looks paradoxical, but in truth you serve yourself so well that you are so happy that with whatsoever you do and to whom you talk to you will share your bliss. And when you seek your own happiness you try to make other people happy as well, because that can only make you happy again, because all is interconnected and your day is filled with interactions with all kinds of people.

2.Aloneness and relating are complementary opposites not contradictory
That means that after each phase of spending much time and making connections with people, one feels the desire to relax and be with him or herself. That's nature's way and should be accepted. Don't go "Oh baby what's up, don't you love me anymore?" if your lover wants to spend some time alone. It does not mean that love has ceased.

3.Relationships and marriage are bound to fail, hence relate
This concept seems strange at first, because it is unusual, but just look around and you will only find neutrality and some kind of sadness in all husbands and wifes. Do you think it is natural that by living together for some years all the passion and kindness dissappears that all romance HAS to go? The problem is that marriage makes love a security, a functionality, an end. Now you will know what happens, you will take the other for granted, you do not fight anymore and think you know him or her. That is dangerous, because you become blind and the other will not be am mirror to you anymore and that is the GREATEST loss. That again turns the person into a thing because only things do not change, a person is someone else every day.
Do not make a commitment out of your love. How can you know that love will be there tomorrow? You can't. Anything else is a false promise. Love can only blossom out of freedom anything else is lust (bondage). Love has it's own commitment and it is silent and then there is no need to make it a contract. Chances are that you lose your love, but then it is a blessing that you seperate and there is no need to cling to it.
Discover each other new everyday and try to learn new ways of being with each other.

4. Beware of your needs
This will make you go down to the first kind of love which is very unstable. These things will dissapear. So, rejoice and enjoy them as long as you can, but remember that this is not your true love to this person. It will turn the relationship into a love-hate relationship. You will be dependant on the other for making you happy, that is a bondage and destroys freedom, you will secretly hate him/her for that.